If You Don't Do It...

Three young women were asking each other,
"Do men like strong women... or meek women?"

The woman who introduced the question is capable. She's independent. She's strong.
And she's confident...about everything except her single status.

What she was really asking was:
"Should I change who I am, so that a man will like me?"

Her friends offered various perspectives, none of them providing much wisdom.

I wish I'd told those women they'd been trapped into believing a lie.

The lie is that we have to be a certain way,
we have to do certain things...
in order to be loved romantically,
in order to be married.

Sometimes,
it's easy for us, ahem, older folks to tell young women they're wonderful and beautiful just as they are.
It's so obvious they don't need to be like anyone else.

But sometimes we who are older are not that much wiser.
We get stuck on the same lie, though usually in a different form.

Lots of us
-- old and young, male and female --
believe we have to "be" and "do" a certain way.

Otherwise, we think,
we won't be good enough to "win" a romantic relationship,
deserve a good career path,
or earn society's approval in general.

Sometimes, we think,
those who don't conform
don't even deserve to have good friends
or the love and blessing of their families.

But no matter how old we are,
how much experience we've gained,
no matter how wise we should be...
if we believe these things,
we've been trapped by the same lie.

The TRUTH is that God didn't make us to be all one way.
He didn't make us to squeeze into our society's mold,
or live up to anyone else's standard.

The God of the Universe planned for each of us to be unique,
and He wants us to stay that way.

Therefore, we shouldn't focus our thoughts on figuring out what the world tells us to be,
and becoming that.

We shouldn't make it our aim to be like our most popular friends
or our most ambitious co-workers.
And we certainly shouldn't try to be like the people on the magazine covers.

Our noble and lofty lifetime goal should be
...to become the best person God made us to be.

Not always easy,
but perfectly simple.

If God made you to be the nurturer, the caregiver, in your family and circle of friends,
but you're always trying to be the entertainer...
who will do the caregiving?

If God made you to be the entertainer,
but you feel guilty for not being the caregiver...
who will do the entertaining?

If God made you to be a thinker who shares wisdom borne of experience,
but you get jealous because the entertainer gets all the attention...
who will pass along the wisdom you've learned?

If God made you to be an artist, the creator of large and messy projects,
but you spend your life longing to be an organizer whose house is always spic-and-span...
who will bring your creative beauty into the world?

And if God made you to be a teacher...
an organizer,
a courageous leader,
a change-maker,
an encourager,
a gentle supporter,
a coach and guide,
a fixer,
a builder,
a designer,
a friend with a listening ear...

but you waste your time and energy trying to be someone else...

who will do the job of being "you"?

YOU are precious and wonderful.
God designed you
and created you uniquely,
just as you are.

You're not perfect,
and you're not complete.

I'm not either.
That's why we need each other.

So, I beg of you...
let's become the best YOU and ME that we can be.

Together,
let's care,
and encourage,
and entertain,
and share wisdom,
and support,
and lead,
and repair,
and build,
and create,
and make a difference...

Let's, each of us, fill the one-of-a-kind shape God designed for us to fill.

Together we'll be complete.
Together, we'll do awesome things.
And, together, we'll be just about perfect.