What I Wish Young Women Knew About Unjust Criticism

It took me way too long to learn some key life lessons. I haven't learned them the easy way, but it makes a big difference for me to understand these things now.

I wish the younger women I care about could learn these principles earlier than I did. It would save them so much heartache.

The greatest lesson I Wish Young Women Knew came from a wise older lady with whom I worked.

One of our colleagues was telling the older lady and me that, at a former place of employment, they'd told her all kinds of nasty things about herself. Having worked with our colleague, the older lady and I both knew those accusations weren't true. Our colleague probably knew it too. Yet, years later, those criticisms still hurt.

Then our wise friend said, "When they said those things, they were saying nothing about you and everything about themselves."

They're saying nothing about you

and everything about themselves.

My dear young woman, when people subject you to cutting words, snobbish behaviour, and unfair treatment...it's because those people are insecure, and are trying to build themselves up by tearing you down. Most often, their words and behaviour have nothing whatsoever to do with you. And certainly, they're not giving an accurate picture of what you're really like.

When someone says "You'll never be good enough to date that kind of guy" or "You're not as pretty as she is," it doesn't mean it's true.

When someone points out that you're a few pounds overweight or aren't as organized as your sister, it doesn't mean those are the most important things about you.

When someone you care about doesn't affirm you for being creative or compassionate or intelligent or courageous, it doesn't mean those strengths don't exist. It doesn't mean your strengths don't matter.

When someone doesn't give you the approval or the position or the invitation you've worked for, it doesn't mean you're not worthy of that recognition.

Your worth isn't based on what other people think or say about you.

Your quality as a human being doesn't vary according to whether or not someone expresses it aloud.

Your value is based on your beginning -- that God created you. He made you in His image.

When people speak harshly of you, look at you with condescension, or don't look at you at all... most often, it has nothing to do with you.

Those people are telling you nothing about what's in your heart, your mind and your future... but they're saying a lot about their own.