Parenting a Child with Special Needs

Medical appointments, prescription trials, multiple surgeries, therapy sessions, school meetings, behaviour plans, physical care, sleep deprivation and lack of available special needs childcare.

Tears, fears and lots of heartache.

Whatever the diagnosis, raising a child with special needs is not easy.

But if you’re raising a child with special needs, what you do matters.

With my youngest niece, The Princess

What you do matters to your child.

Even if your child's special needs are so severe she doesn't have the ability to say so, what you do for her matters. In more ways than you and I will ever imagine, what you do matters to your child.

What you do for your child with special needs matters to your typically-developing children.

Stephen Covey said the security of everyone in the family rests on how the weakest family member is treated. When you love and cherish your child with special needs, even on the darkest, most difficult days, your typically-developing children know they too are worthy of your unconditional love. They can live in the security that, no matter what, they too will be loved and cared for.

What you do for your child with special needs matters to your church.

The Church in North America needs a reminder that people with challenges are worthy of love and care, and that the Lord commands us to care for them. When you visibly, consistently display your love for your child, the Church hears the reminder it so badly needs.

It may be hard on you to be the one giving this message, but when you do, it matters.

What you do for your child with special needs matters to your community and your country.

In Canada, several years ago, a father killed his teenage daughter who had cerebral palsy. His lawyer called it a "mercy killing", but more accurate information showed the family felt they could no longer care for her. My heart goes out to this family, so beleaguered they planned and carried out the killing of their own child. However, I'm even more grieved they received so much public support for doing so.

When you care for, and love, and cherish your child with special needs, even on the days you're sure you have no caring left, you declare to your community and your country that you value all human life. You silently, powerfully shout that the life of a person with special needs is also worthwhile.

What you do for your child with special needs matters to God.

God didn’t give you this challenging task – raising a child with special needs -- because “you’re so special”.

Nor did He place you in this role as a punishment.

But according to His own wisdom and goodness, for reasons we don’t fully understand, He did orchestrate the events of your life so you’re raising a child with special needs.

He who called you to this task treasures your child... and He treasures you.

He asks you to be faithful in caring for him or her. (Not perfect, faithful.) He also cares for you.

He understands how hard it is for you...and for your child.

And when you show tender-loving care to your child with special needs, He is honored by your faithfulness.

Whatever we do for someone in need, we are doing for Jesus Himself.

That doesn’t just apply to caring for poor and hungry strangers.

It is for you, caring for your own child within your own family.

What you do, on the front lines and in the shadows, in the public moments and the unknown corners of your child’s life... all matters.

Please remember... what you do matters.

-- Reenie

*From  Seven Habits of Highly Effective Families

Underthanked

In the midst of a conversation about unfulfilled dreams, my wise friend pointed out that one aspect of her life is nearly perfect. “I have such a great roommate,” she said. “And I admit God goes largely underthanked for that.”

Her cool, new word – underthanked – stuck in my head and didn’t let go. I, too, must admit God goes underthanked for many of my blessings.

I try to make a habit of saying, “I’m thankful.” Unfortunately, I usually follow it with a “BUT”.

As in, “I’m thankful I live in a large, world-class city... BUT commuting takes so much of my time!”

Or, “I’m thankful I’m healthy... BUT I wish I were slimmer.”

And, of course, “I’m thankful for my freedom as a single woman... BUT some things aren’t fun to do by myself.”

So...here’s the start of my new Thank-You-With-No-Buts list.

Thank You, God...
For giving me five terrific nieces and nephews, and for how they’ve changed my life.
For my solid family, and for my parents who’ve been married for 50 years.
For my friends who are so loving and loyal they dropped everything to take care of me when I needed it.
For all the educational opportunities I’ve had – and still have.
For the freedom and opportunity to travel – and safety when I do.
For giving me gifts and skills that I enjoy using – and for giving me enjoyable work.
For giving me very good health – and for allowing me to recover from illness.
For my own home, where I’m safe, warm and comfortable.
That I live in a country which has no war within its borders.
...where I, as a woman, have the same freedoms as men.
... where I can worship openly without fear of persecution.
... where I can trust the law to be mostly just.
... where I can vote... and make a difference.
... where I have excellent medical care available, at hardly any cost.
...and.....
Thank You, God!

-- Reenie